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Author Topic: The Great Big Thread of Jokes  (Read 381086 times)

Stevie-Ray

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Re: The Great Big Thread of Jokes
« Reply #1500 on: September 29, 2021, 12:18:21 pm »
A woman,  a New Yorker, was driving on vacation through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. A Native American on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

 

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Native American would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.

 

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.

 

"What did you do to get that Native American so excited?" asked the service-station attendant. "Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

 

"Lady," the attendant said, "Native Americans don't use saddles."
MichiganFolks keep talking about another Civil War.  One side knows how to shoot and has a trillion bullets.  The other side has crying closets and is confused about which bathroom to use.  How do you think that war is going to end?

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    Stevie-Ray

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    Re: The Great Big Thread of Jokes
    « Reply #1501 on: September 29, 2021, 12:32:53 pm »
    How I became a Marine pilot

    When I was young after college I decided to go to Medical School. The entrance exam asked us to rearrange the letters PNEIS and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered SPINE are doctors today. The rest of us are retired Marine Aviators sending jokes by email....
    MichiganFolks keep talking about another Civil War.  One side knows how to shoot and has a trillion bullets.  The other side has crying closets and is confused about which bathroom to use.  How do you think that war is going to end?

    coelacanth

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    Re: The Great Big Thread of Jokes
    « Reply #1502 on: September 29, 2021, 05:07:26 pm »
       :rotfl   .  .  .  And not a quack among you .  .  .   :cool
    Arizona" A republic, if you can keep it."

                                                   Benjamin Franklin

    aikorob

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    Re: The Great Big Thread of Jokes
    « Reply #1503 on: October 03, 2021, 09:41:23 pm »
     Insurance . . . .

     A man and his wife moved back home to Saskatchewan from Vancouver.

    The wife had a wooden leg, and to insure it in BC was $2000 a year!

    When they arrived in Saskatchewan, they went to an insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg.

    The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, "That'll be $39."

    The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in

    Saskatchewan to insure, because it cost him $2000 in BC!

    The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well,

    here it is on the screen, it says:

    *Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is $39.00*

    I always did find Saskatchewan logic far superior to most others.
    GeorgiaFrom The Codex Kalachnikova: "He who would have you surrender your arms does so because he wishes to do something you could prevent by their usage."

    coelacanth

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    Re: The Great Big Thread of Jokes
    « Reply #1504 on: October 04, 2021, 02:28:21 am »
     :rotfl
    Arizona" A republic, if you can keep it."

                                                   Benjamin Franklin

    aikorob

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    Re: The Great Big Thread of Jokes
    « Reply #1505 on: October 10, 2021, 07:19:46 am »
    Kevin Craigen showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

    After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Kevin, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

    Craigen said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced my hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that Jeff Holtz had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal Holtz's hat."

    Later, the priest said, "Well, Kevin I notice that ya didn't steal Holtz's hat. What changed your mind?"

    Craigen replied, "Well after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal Holt's hat after all"

    With a tear in his eye, the priest gave Craigen a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without  your hat than burn in hell?"

    Craigen slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left my hat."
    GeorgiaFrom The Codex Kalachnikova: "He who would have you surrender your arms does so because he wishes to do something you could prevent by their usage."

    coelacanth

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    Re: The Great Big Thread of Jokes
    « Reply #1506 on: October 11, 2021, 04:55:49 pm »
     :facepalm   .  .  .  and so it goes.   :cool
    Arizona" A republic, if you can keep it."

                                                   Benjamin Franklin

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