Oh, I know that one. "Dance in the Vampire Bund", right?

The JL421 Badonkadonk is a completely unique, extremely rare land vehicle and battle tank. Designed with versatility in mind, the Donk can transport cargo or a crew of five internally or on the roof, and can be piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch, thanks to special one-way steel mesh armor windows and a control stick that pivots up and down to allow piloting from the standing or seated positions. The interior is fully carpeted and cozy, with accent lighting and room for up to five people. A 400 watt premium sound system with PA is mounted to project sound both into the cabin and outward from behind the windows. The exterior is a steel shell with a rust patina, and features head and tail lights, turn signal lights, trim lighting, underbody lighting, fixed slats protecting the windows, and a unique industrial-strength rubberized flexible skirt that shields and protects the wheels to within an inch of the ground, while still allowing for enough flex to give clearance over bumpy and uneven terrain. Master power, ignition, all lighting, and stereo features are controlled from a single switchboard to the left of the driver, again accessible from either the seated or standing position. Standard drive is an air-cooled, 6hp Tecumseh gasoline (unleaded only) engine, with centrifugal clutch, giving the Donk a top speed of 40 mph. This vehicle is not licensed for use on public roads, and is intended as a recreational vehicle only. Badonkadonks are produced on an order-by-order basis, with each one having it's own unique set of features. With your order is included unlimited consultations with the designer and manufacturer concerning all relevant options (a representative from NAO will contact you shortly after your order). Price does not include shipping and handling.

I'll admit it. Shopping for a personal tank can be a bit daunting. Many times in the past I've purchased overpriced, so-called "battle tanks", then driven them into battle only to be wrecked in ten minutes by the first blow off of some insurgents home-made morter.

But not this baby, no way.

This tank R-O-C-K-S! Literally- the 400-watt sound-system keeps me rockin like a crazy man as I'm dishing out justice commando style. Wow. I just can't say enough. And the kids love it, too- imagine the look of terror in the eyes of the enemy as I'm dropping off my kid's team to their soccer game. Shock and awe, my friends, SHOCK AND AWE!

I had NAO install the optional GPS-guided white phosphorus missile system, and talk about *SWEET*! Burn baby burn!!!

Oh, it also has plenty of room for groceries, and if you need to like move a loveseat or something it'll fit if you use a little bungee cord.

The only real negative with this tank is that it shows up on radar a little more than I like (although there is a polyresin graphite stealth model available). Also, the included spare isn't full size.

Overall, a great tank.

Didn't Jabba the Hutt have one of those?

Rumor has it that George Lucas is now selling a 'Green' retrofit for this model that includes sails. Production was delayed when the prototype blew up.

Also, the deck mounted cannon upgrade poses some problems as the turret can be de-elevated too far, allowing possible damage from friendly fire.

I bought myself a JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser with the hopes of setting up a small droid selling business to moisture farmers in the desert. I didn't have the funds to buy a full Land Crawler, but the Badonkadonk provided enough cargo space to get myself up and running.

Shortly after selling a flamboyant British robot and a end table on wheels to an old man and his nephew, I found myself under assault from the Galactic Empire (posing as Sandpeople).

My crew is dead, the Badonkadonk totaled, and my droids stolen and sold off for parts. I have nothing; I am ruined. If you're going to sell droids, don't cut corners, get something with guns.

My only hope is an old wizard in the desert.

Looks similar to the tanks used in a scifi novel I read about. Maybe a game.
But these OGRE tanks were huge.
As in city blocks wide and long huge.
Weapons at every face on that thing.
Might resemble George in the morning before coffee...ugly situation.

Huh?  Wha?  Energy Tea...
http://www.xingicedtea.com/all-natural-green-tea-energy-drink/
That's what gets me up in the morning.  That and Middle Aged Bladder.