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Author Topic: A blog post to make your head explode.  (Read 25027 times)

JesseL

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A blog post to make your head explode.
« on: October 07, 2010, 11:40:26 am »
There is no facepalm smiley big enough for this guy.


http://s.9timezones.com/2010_09_01_archive.html#2609637495063498089
Quote
» On 9/17/2010 02:15:00 PM Mountain Standard Time, Alan wrote:
Gunfight At The Shopping-Cart Corral.

shopping cart corralSo, the wife and I were shopping at our local natural-foods grocery store this morning. No, we're not tree-huggers. They just have a nice fruit section. Peaches and sh*t.

We were browsing through the peach aisle when my wife urgently pulled me aside: "Did you see that guy?"

"What guy?" I craned my neck to peek around behind her.

"Don't look. He might shoot."

"Whaaaat?!" That really captured my attention. Sure enough, some corpulent 80-year-old a**hole was standing in front of the donut peaches, packing a pistol. Rosewood-checkered grip, tooled-leather holster, the whole bit. Not a law enforcement guy, just some retired jerkoff who evidently wanted to enhance the perceived size of his schlong.

Allow me to digress for a moment: the last time I wore a gun and a tooled-leather holster, I was six years old. I had imaginary shootouts with Tommy, who lived next door. Our guns were just cap pistols. Nobody got hurt, unless you tried to drop a big rock on several rolls of caps. (Don't try this at home. I speak from experience.) We loved wearing the full cowboy drag. And we enjoyed using our guns and holsters.

Until we outgrew them.

At age six.

I mean, everybody outgrows them, right?

Well, apparently not.

Okay, back to Mr. Second-fluffing-Amendment: when I saw that gun in the grocery store, steam started shooting from my ears. I marched up to the front office and loudly demanded to see the manager. When he arrived, I was apoplectic: "If you're gonna allow this kind of behavior in your store, I'm not gonna shop here anymore."

The manager was apologetic: "I can't stop him. Arizona is a Right-To-Carry state."

no firearms allowed "You can't post a 'No Firearms Allowed' sign on the door?"

"Sadly, no."

I riposted: "Bars can do it."

"I know. But that's because they sell alcohol."

"Then it's high time to get a liquor license."

He nodded. "I hear you."

"So, guns are off-limits in bars, schools, government buildings, airports and airliners. You think it's a good idea to allow them in your grocery store?"

"No, but..."

"And it's not like this white-bread neighborhood is dangerous. The worst criminals you have are jaywalkers."

"Exactly. I recently moved here from California, and I can't believe what these people get away with."

I pulled out the big guns: "Displaying a gun is an implied threat of violence. His threat has spread fear in your customers. Instilling fear is a hallmark of terrorism. Under some definitions, he has already committed a terrorist act."

He sympathized. "Guns are just murders waiting to happen." But then he shrugged.

The shrug derailed me. What's that Edmund Burke quote? "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing."

I shuffled back to the peach aisle, tail between my legs. The gun-totin' a**hole had moved over to the nectarine aisle. My wife said: "Well?"

"It's legal. Nothing to be done."

"You're kidding." Let me explain: she's European. And like most civilized people, she often has trouble understanding some of Arizona's mediæval laws.

I shook my head. "Nope. And I can't say anything to him. If he's psycho enough to wear a gun in a grocery store, he's psycho enough to use it. All of us would end up on the evening news, looking like Swiss cheese."

She was silent for a long time. "You're afraid of him?"

"Duh."

"Then I will buy you a gun at Christmas. And you will buy one for me."

"Huh?" I couldn't believe my ears. Every now and then, she has trouble with the English language. I was beginning to wonder if this was one of those times.

"We will return here on December 26th, and we will stand in front of that old fasz with our brand-new guns, and we will call him out." 'Fasz' is the Hungarian word for 'pr*ck.' When she starts peppering her conversation with Magyar expletives, it's a pretty good indication she's having no trouble at all with her English. "And if he tries to walk away, we will laugh at the size of his tiny shriveled-up fasz."

"He'll draw. You know he'll draw."

"He's old. We're faster."

---
Arizona

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    TommyGunn

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #1 on: October 07, 2010, 12:00:14 pm »
    There are jerks everywhere.  Some of the biggest ones are imported.  :facepalm
    "Through ignorance of what is good and what is bad, the life of men is greatly perplexed." ~~ Cicero.

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #2 on: October 07, 2010, 12:02:10 pm »
    Classy pair, but the bit about "calling [the codger in the grocery store' out" is really the icing on the cow pie. (And I wouldn't bet on being faster than "some corpulent 80-year-old" codger with a wheelgun strapped to his hip. Wouldn't it be humiliatingly apropos to find out he practices CAS quick draw or something?)

    Some further poking around suggests that, while he may not be a "tree-hugger", he's probably a liberal twit of the over-educated variety.
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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #3 on: October 07, 2010, 12:03:59 pm »
    I'd love to know where in Arizona he's shopping.   :viking  I'd start OC'ing just to OC in front him.  Jackass.  He's reasoning regarding a holstered weapon is the most assinine reasoning I've seen outside of an environmental science class. 

    I hope he follows the hits on his blogs back here and realizes that Arizona natives, can't stand bulls___ from his kind. 
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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #4 on: October 07, 2010, 12:12:51 pm »
    I'd love to know where in Arizona he's shopping.   :viking  I'd start OC'ing just to OC in front him.  Jackass.  He's reasoning regarding a holstered weapon is the most assinine reasoning I've seen outside of an environmental science class. 

    I hope he follows the hits on his blogs back here and realizes that Arizona natives, can't stand bulls___ from his kind. 

    I work in the environmental science field. I am pretty used to being thought of as somehow less evolved because I choose to carry...
    Oklahoma"If all our problems are solved, we'll find new ones to replace them. If we can't find new ones, we'll make new ones."

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #5 on: October 07, 2010, 12:15:33 pm »
    Just further proof that the projection argument explains anti-gunner's (for lack of a better word) reasoning.

    I'm a dangerous, volatile, immature individual who would use a gun to protect my fragile ego.  Therefore everyone else is.

    JesseL

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #7 on: October 07, 2010, 12:45:52 pm »
    I'd love to know where in Arizona he's shopping.   :viking  I'd start OC'ing just to OC in front him.  

    He mentioned in another blog posting he's just a few blocks from Las Sendas, so that narrows it down a bit.

    Edit: A little internet poking turned up his name, home address, picture, resume, birthplace, etc (isn't the internet wonderful/scarey?).  He's up around Thomas and the Bush Highway, so it'd probably be a store around there.

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #8 on: October 07, 2010, 01:08:35 pm »
    Maybe he's related to Nickwolf? Must be a distant relative with better spelling and grammar skills.  :whistle
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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #9 on: October 07, 2010, 01:26:25 pm »
       And they say states shouldn't control inter-state migration  :facepalm
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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #10 on: October 07, 2010, 01:49:00 pm »
       And they say states shouldn't control inter-state migration  :facepalm

    :scrutiny

    Come on man, don't throw the baby out with the bath water.






    But hotdamn, that blog post is all kinds of fail.  [email protected]#$ @#[email protected]#$% @#[email protected]#.

    And I though that advanced societies were the ones that could make more sophisticated tooling and equipment...

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #11 on: October 07, 2010, 01:56:59 pm »
    Perhaps he should have followed her home rather than the other way around :banghead

    As far as I'm concerned those are the kind of people that I would be willing to expel from the country for no other reason than an apparent complete disregard for our constitution and rights.

    You don't care about your rights and because I don't agree with you and exercise mine, I'm the one being unreasonable :scrutiny In my opinion don't let the door hit you on the way out.

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #12 on: October 07, 2010, 02:07:37 pm »
    :scrutiny

    Come on man, don't throw the baby out with the bath water.






    But hotdamn, that blog post is all kinds of fail.  [email protected]#$ @#[email protected]#$% @#[email protected]#.

    And I though that advanced societies were the ones that could make more sophisticated tooling and equipment...



    You would think that "intelligent" people would be amazed at the tooling and refinement of design it takes to make a modern self-defense handgun. However, most of the academic set think that the subset of tools we call weapons somehow cause violence. It in some way makes me a person of lesser refinement because I wish to carry an effective means of self defense.
    Oklahoma"If all our problems are solved, we'll find new ones to replace them. If we can't find new ones, we'll make new ones."

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #13 on: October 07, 2010, 02:13:06 pm »
    Pathetic d-bags. :bash

    Still . . . there's always been idiots of the first degree, and always will be. If I let them all bother me by now, I'd have had at least three coronaries. I generally calm myself with this slightly impolite but impeccable piece of wisdom:

    Spoiler (click to show/hide)

    JesseL

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #14 on: October 07, 2010, 02:22:00 pm »
    And I though that advanced societies were the ones that could make more sophisticated tooling and equipment...



    Yes; and barbarians are prone to superstion, ascribing magical properties to inanimate objects, and treating those outside their tribe with fear, suspicion, and violence.
    « Last Edit: October 07, 2010, 02:47:46 pm by JesseL »
    Arizona

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #15 on: October 07, 2010, 02:42:10 pm »
    So, let me get this straight....these liberal, constitution-hating d____ bags are willing to KILL someone for practicing the 2nd amendment???  WILLING TO KILL.  I think that's one of the most disturbing things i've read.  it really shows what the neo fascists are willing to do. 
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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #16 on: October 07, 2010, 03:24:25 pm »
    So, let me get this straight....these liberal, constitution-hating d____ bags are willing to KILL someone for practicing the 2nd amendment???  WILLING TO KILL.  I think that's one of the most disturbing things i've read.  it really shows what the neo fascists are willing to do. 

    I'm guessing it was probably hyperbole.

    JesseL

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #17 on: October 07, 2010, 03:55:13 pm »
    I'm guessing it was probably hyperbole.

    Of course it was.

    It's still stupid and somewhat disturbing. In my opinion, the use of that sort of hyperbole by an adult is an indication that they probably have very real issues bordering on sociopathy.
    Arizona

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #18 on: October 07, 2010, 04:04:27 pm »
    So, let me get this straight....these liberal, constitution-hating d____ bags are willing to KILL someone for practicing the 2nd amendment???  WILLING TO KILL.  I think that's one of the most disturbing things i've read.  it really shows what the neo fascists are willing to do. 

    I hear a lot of tough talk from libs these days. However, the late great Col. Cooper described them as "parlor pinks" (my interpretation of that is pansy's talkin' the talk but not walkin' the walk, commie wannabe's). How can they use the very weapons that they despise? Nevermind... brain fart... hypocrisy means nothing to them. I'm sorry. American libs are too soft and won't be able to stand and do the things we are capable of, namely self-sacrificing their own safety and comfort to protect others
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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #19 on: October 07, 2010, 04:07:59 pm »
    Of course it was.

    It's still stupid and somewhat disturbing. In my opinion, the use of that sort of hyperbole by an adult is an indication that they probably have very real issues bordering on sociopathy.

    and he probably was raised in the tenets of Fraud, er, freud, so it could be considered penis envy on his part and wish fulfillment on the part of his partner.
     ;D
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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #20 on: October 07, 2010, 04:15:06 pm »


    Yes; and barbarians are prone to superstion, ascribing magical properties to inanimate objects, and treating those outside their tribe with fear, suspicion, and violence.

    I think we have a winner.  I wonder if he thinks his rights are obviously (to him) more important than mine.
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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #21 on: October 07, 2010, 04:54:41 pm »
    Typically, their reaction is to get Hostile.
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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #22 on: October 07, 2010, 05:16:38 pm »
    Has anybody posted on his blog yet?  If they have could you please tell us what you said?
    Virginia"The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries." --Our illustrious leader OBAMA. Tampa, Fla., Jan. 28, 2010

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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #23 on: October 07, 2010, 05:26:33 pm »
    If you read the whole blog, he appears to just be angry little man.  he has an entire rant about private jets sitting at Scottsdale Airport.  Pfff.


    Has anybody posted on his blog yet?  If they have could you please tell us what you said?


    You have to have a Salon login. 

    Not me man.  Not me.


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    Re: A blog post to make your head explode.
    « Reply #24 on: October 07, 2010, 05:29:35 pm »
    I give credit to you guys who can without being emotional rebuke these idiots claims(not really this case since I don't know if anyone has but others like it). I have a hard time not loosing my temper and just reading them makes my blood boil :banghead Actually to the point where I tend to avoid even reading this kinda stuff because I just can't stand the stupidity.

    Either way guys those of you who write good responses that make these guys look the morons they are I congratulate and thank you. I know enough just to mostly keep my mouth shut so I don't make any of the rest of you look bad:)

    Luke
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