Hefeweizen is sort of the wine cooler of beers. It's beer for folks who don't really like beer
. Not to take away from Hefe though. It's still good stuff!
Why is it people infuriate you so much and as soon as you start tanking up you actually will try and beat the living crap out of them?
Because people in general are complete morons. As a reasonably intelligent person, you have a limited tolerance for morons in the first place. Not only does alcohol lower your inhibitions, it also lowers your tolerance for jackassery.
As such... people who truly deserve a pounding become more likely to receive said pounding, that likelihood being directly proportionate to the amount of alcohol a nearby intelligent person has consumed. Given an infinite time line, the probability of the potential poundee receiving said pounding approaches 1.
Call that Thernlund's 1st Law of Inebrio-dynamics.
We can as well infer from the 1st Law that the level of aggravation experienced by a given individual consuming alcohol in close proximity to a moron is directly proportionate to that individual's level of intelligence.
Aggravation being "A", intelligence being "N", and a moron's jackassery being "j"... A = Nj
Call that Thernlund's 2nd Law of Inebrio-dynamics.
Of course, the Laws assume intelligence is a constant. It is well known that intelligence (not to be confused with common sense) is affected upon negatively by the consumption of alcohol. When in the presence of individuals of equal or greater
intelligence, this is true.
However, when in the presence of morons, the intelligence level remains a constant fixed value and cannot be negatively impacted, thereby affecting the aggravation level as described in the 2nd Law.
Call this Thernlund's Intoxication Paradox. When a given individual is among those of greater intelligence, the Laws still apply, but in reverse based on the perspective of the individual. This is described in Thernlund's Special Law of Drunken Relativity."But what does it all mean, T?"
, I hear you ask.
It means, ipso-facto, that only the most intelligent people get arrested for drunken assault.