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Author Topic: Archery and Black Powder  (Read 14745 times)

coyotesfan97

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Archery and Black Powder
« on: April 27, 2009, 02:12:31 AM »
I just got this from a buddy.  I have no idea who the author is but it is it is freakin' hillarious. I never did anything this big with powder and/or lighter fluid..... :nervous



 Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our place sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow.  Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmhall tractor will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich.  That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazzard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips  of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.  Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't any fire danger.  I'll put it this way, a set of post hole diggers and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.

Anyway, one summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard.  I look  over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether).  The light bulb went off.  I grabbed the can and set it on the  stump.  I thought it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner . .. . let's face it.  To a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really doesn't "sound" flammable.  So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex  (black powder for muzzle loader rifles) to add to the excitement.  At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder.  My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me.  No biggie...1lb pyrodex and 16oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?  You know what?  Screw that.  I'm going back in the house for the other can.  Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too.  Now we're cookin! 

I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2stroke arrow.  I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim.  As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow.  In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my  dad getting out of the truck... OH s___! He just got home from work.  So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can.  My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes.  I turned back towards my target just in time to see  the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom.  Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. 

Oh. s___.  When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet.  I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fluffing decibels of sound.  I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1ft above the ground as far as I could see.  It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full  of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two.  The daylight turned purple.  Let me repeat this...THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE!  There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.  Notice I said "was".  That mother got up and ran off.  So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback - ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE  DAMNIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!  His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway.  All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there  is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard.  There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and  the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires. 

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment.  I don't know- I know I said something.  I couldn't hear.  I couldn't hear inside my own head.  I don't think he heard me either...  not that it would really matter.  I don't remember much from this point on.  I said something, felt a  sharp pain, and then woke up later.  I felt a sharp pain, blacked out,  woke later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea.  I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more.  Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again.  Thanks mom.  One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again.  Mom had been b____ing about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it.  I stepped up to the plate and  handled business. 

Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later.  And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the beating.  Or both.  I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into  archery.. Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.  Something they won't learn in school.

 :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl
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    GeorgeHill

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #1 on: May 28, 2009, 12:18:17 AM »
     :rotfl
    BEST POST EVER.
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    Thernlund

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #2 on: May 28, 2009, 01:57:16 AM »
    Almost makes you want to try it.  Heh heh.


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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #3 on: May 28, 2009, 07:12:51 AM »
    I hope he smartened up since the age of 10.
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    mattitude

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #4 on: May 28, 2009, 10:47:04 AM »
    I could see a good sized fireball from the powder (if it was FFFFG then maybe a bang from the  rapid heat expansion, but FFG you would just get a nice fireball) but I don't think a can of starting fluid would be enough to blow out a window much less all on one side of a house.  Funny story though and I would've loved to hear it straight from this guy as I would be rolling on the ground.
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    Harm

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #5 on: May 28, 2009, 10:56:19 AM »
    all the guys in my office are staring at me funny because I'M DYING!  HOLY COW THATS FUNNY!
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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #6 on: May 28, 2009, 11:31:39 AM »
    Oh God, my torso aches!
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    JesseL

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #7 on: May 28, 2009, 11:32:26 AM »
    I could see a good sized fireball from the powder (if it was FFFFG then maybe a bang from the  rapid heat expansion, but FFG you would just get a nice fireball) but I don't think a can of starting fluid would be enough to blow out a window much less all on one side of a house.  Funny story though and I would've loved to hear it straight from this guy as I would be rolling on the ground.

    It's entirely possible for the ether in starting fluid to form diethyl ether peroxide, which is very explosive.
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    Samurai Todd

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #8 on: May 28, 2009, 12:12:29 PM »
    Laughing so hard I'm crying :rotfl
    Lord, make me fast and accurate.  Let my aim be true and my hand faster than those who would seek to destroy me.  Grant me victory over my foes and those that wish to harm to me and mine.  Let not my last thought be

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #9 on: May 28, 2009, 12:13:50 PM »
    Lord, make me fast and accurate.  Let my aim be true and my hand faster than those who would seek to destroy me.  Grant me victory over my foes and those that wish to harm to me and mine.  Let not my last thought be

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #10 on: May 28, 2009, 01:26:26 PM »
    I wonder if the parents bothered getting him hearing aids after that.  'Cause I'm pretty damn sure he'd need 'em.
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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #11 on: May 28, 2009, 01:35:17 PM »
     :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl

    :rotfl
    BEST POST EVER.


    +100000

    Holy schnitz! That is epic! Sounds like something one of my college buddies would have done!
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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #12 on: May 28, 2009, 02:17:28 PM »
    Can't....breathe.

    Wow it's hard to laugh quietly so as not to disturb teh co workers.

    Vern357

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #13 on: May 28, 2009, 06:36:59 PM »
    :rotfl
    BEST POST EVER.


    I havent cried that hard from laughter in years!!!   :clap  :clap  :clap
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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #14 on: May 28, 2009, 07:37:22 PM »
    This is so funny I'm crying.
     
    :rotfl

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #15 on: May 28, 2009, 07:42:25 PM »
    So who wants to go shoot some flaming arrows at black powder and ether now?   :devillol
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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #16 on: May 28, 2009, 11:38:50 PM »
    :rotfl
    BEST POST EVER.


    Seconded! :rotfl

    Is it a bad sign if I want to go try this now?
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    Raptor

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #18 on: May 29, 2009, 12:49:43 PM »
    Is it a bad sign if I want to go try this now?

    Definitely.



    Can I come watch?  ;)
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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #19 on: June 01, 2009, 06:06:07 PM »
    Is ether starter fluid still legal?

    Geoff
    Who thought he blew up some stuff..

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #20 on: June 01, 2009, 06:10:57 PM »
    Is ether starter fluid still legal?

    Geoff
    Who thought he blew up some stuff..

    I just googled up some starter fluid that's available for sale, looked at the MSDS, and the stuff was 35% Diethyl Ether.

    I'm gonna stick with Tannerite though. Might have to keep some stashed for when my son grows old enough to get the itch to make things go boom, who knows if you'll be able to buy it in 10 years.
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    coyotesfan97

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #21 on: June 01, 2009, 09:20:09 PM »
    Holy Cow! Just checked Mad Ogre and saw the link.  Thanks George!   :hat

    This one had me crying with laughter.  Especially when the dad is screaming for the artillery to check fire.   :panic :rotfl

    This reminded me of Patrick F McManus and his books about his misadventures as a youth.
    ArizonaThe bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.  Thucydides 471BC

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #22 on: April 23, 2010, 07:02:18 PM »
    This story has got to be retold every 179 days. My God, I have tears in my eyes and the  guy at the next desk is begging to read it. :rotfl
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    coyotesfan97

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #23 on: July 13, 2012, 08:10:21 AM »
    Bump. The exploding arrow thread reminded me.  Any chance this an be stickied?
    ArizonaThe bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.  Thucydides 471BC

    "Hey!  Let's be careful out there." Sgt Phil Esterhaus played by Michael Conrad

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    Re: Archery and Black Powder
    « Reply #24 on: July 13, 2012, 09:10:21 AM »
    Done.

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